You know, I realized today that I'm really lonely. No, I don't mean lonely like I need to have a boyfriend and be in love; I mean, I just feel alone all the time. Even when I'm with my friends I feel alone. I don't understand it and I don't know if I ever will, but I do know that I don't want to be lonely anymore. I want to feel like someone- anyone- cares about me. I want there to be people in my life who can make me smile even at the worst of times without having to even try. I wish that I didn't feel lonely even when I'm alone. I don't know how to make it happen, but I can't do this for much longer. I need someone or something to help me turn my life around before it all comes crashing back down again.
I guess summer really isn't all it's cracked up to be. I mean, it's supposed to be fun and as a teenager I'm supposed to love and enjoy it but to be honest I'd rather be at school. I find that in the summer when I'm not doing anything I have way too much time to think about things that I really don't want to think about. I guess that's why I've been feeling so lonely. When I'm at school, I have way too much to distract me and keep me busy so I never really think about how I'm feeling unless something happens to make me think about it.... I can't wait to go back, to figure out what I want to do with my life, to see everyone and socialize.
One day soon, though, I know that things are going to pick up again. I guess I'll just keep looking for the positive and live by words like these:
"Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in the dark room. So if you see darkness in your life, be reassured that a bautiful picture it being prepared."
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