Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore.

So I've been listening to the same song on repeat for the past day and a half and every time I listen to it, it means something new. The first time I ever listened to it, I thought that the melody was beautiful. So calm, so soothing; it just took me to a place where I love to be. Then, as I began listening to it more, and listening to the lyrics, it got me thinking. The chorus and pre-chorus mean something new to me every time it plays over:

And still I cant let you be
Most nights I hardly sleep
Don't take what you don't need from me

Its just a drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
Its like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most,
'Cause you are my heaven.

Every time I hear those words, though I think of the same person, new thoughts and feelings come to me.

At first, it made me sad because I didn't think that I would ever be with him. I love him, and I don't think that there's anything I can do to change that. I thought for the longest time that I was over him, but I know I'm not. And as much as I want to be, and I just want to be friends with him I know I can't. Most people think it's stupid of me to not let go. They say I just need to forget about him and move on. But let me tell you, it's definitely not that easy. I wish that everyone could feel the way I'm feeling right now because, even though it hurts sometimes, knowing what it feels like to love is wonderful - even if you don't get it back from that person.

Now, I listen to the words in that song and although I know that I still love him it just makes me happy. I'm happy to know that he loved me too, at one point, and it just makes me smile to think about him. I know that even though we're just friends right now, he cares about me. He doesn't want to see me upset. He doesn't like it when I cry. And when I hurt, he wants to help. Even if he doesn't know how I feel about him, I'd rather it be the way it is now then not have him in my life at all.

All I know is that he means more to me than a lot of the people in my life right now do. Even though he's hurt me before, I'm willing to put that all behind me for the sake of our friendship; and my sanity.

I think that I can officially say I'm in love.. I don't know why, and I don't know how it happened, but I know that I've never felt this way about anyone before. Every time I hear his name, or I see him sign into MSN I get butterflies in my stomach and a smile just seems to appear on my face. There's nothing I can do to get rid of this feeling, and all I can do is hope that maybe things will turn out the way I want them to.. Even if they don't, though, I'll be OK with that. He's in my life, we're talking again, I know he cares, that's all that matters.

Love is complicated, but I think the heartbreak is worth it in the end. End of story.

This one's for the girls, who love without holding back; who dream with everything they have.

Well, I didn't really do much today and so that got me thinking. Who cares what other people think about who you like and what you choose to do regarding your feelings? I mean, it's not like you can really control who you fall for. I believe that all the blame regarding who you fall for should lay upon the shoulders of the person who you like or love. I mean, if they weren't the person they are then there would be nothing to fall for. Am I right?

Anyways, I think that every girl out there - guys too! - should just do what they want to do and be with who they want to be with. Who cares if the person you love has buck teeth and a unibrow?! Not everything's about looks baby. I would much rather be with someone who society considers "horifyingly ugly" who's insanely nice and just all around a great person than someone who's "OH HOT DAMN!" and a complete jerk. Don't let people hold you back! Because if someone really cares about you, they won't hold you back. Be who you are, and be proud of it. Be proud of who you're with too! Because when it comes down to it, everyone's going to get wrinkly and old and then who really cares what you look like. All that matters is that you're in love.


Look more with your heart than your eyes. END OF FREAKING STORY!



Just let go! Live, laugh, and love freely.

It's only life.

"Mama never loved her much." And, "Daddy never keeps in touch. That's why she shies away from human affection." But somewhere in a private place she packs her bag for outer space, and now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come and she'll say to him;

She's sayin,"I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be, if you'll be my baby. I've got a ticket for a world where we belong so would you be my baby?"

Life can get messy. End of story.

I love you.

You've changed my world with the blink of an eye
this is something I truly cannot deny
you open my eyes and help me see
everything I'm supposed to be

You've opened my heart to brand new things
I feel I can fly, you've given me wings
today, tomorrow, now and forever
I'll be there for you wherever, whenever

Your sparkling eyes make my soul melt
these feelings I have now, I have never before felt
I know it's true, I know it's real
Something I hope that you can feel

These feelings I have a surely true
all of this to say I LOVE YOU


Written: January 21, 2009

I wrote this poem for a boy that I loved.. He told me he felt the same way.. But sometimes I wonder.

Love's tough. End of story.

What a shame.

Have you ever thought you knew someone, but it turns out you were wrong? It was as if you two were twins because you knew each other for so long. But one day you were talking and you had nothing to say. Then so many things crossed through your mind, why were things turning out this way? We'll be best friends forever that's what he'd always said.. Saying goodbye was something that the two of you always dread. Well now everything's different; they'll never be the same. I loved him dearly, but it's too late now. Gone forever, what a shame.

Written: March 8, 2009

I was wrong about you. End of story.

Don't say goodbye.

"Promise me you'll come back?"
That's the last thing that I said
"I promise you, a year's not long.."
although I still felt a part of me was dead

I opened my mouth to say goodbye
and half of it came out
You said "Don't say it, goodbye's forever
and I'll be back without a doubt"

Well it's been about a week now
but it seems like it's been a year
and knowing you might not come home
still remains my biggest fear

You truly mean so much to me
more than I think you'll ever know
and every time you leave
I really wish you didn't have to go

And everyone keeps telling me
a year's really not that long
And even though it hurts
I know I have to stay strong

You're always going to have
that special place in my heart
no matter where you are
whether we're together or apart

So I won't say goodbye
only see you soon
because I know, no matter what,
you're going to come home


I wrote this poem for my uncle on June 28, 2009.


I miss him. End of story.

Love. It's fearless.

My best friend showed me this quote, and I think it's so inspiring.

To me, "FEARLESS" is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s FEARLESS to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s FEARLESS to stop believing them. It’s FEARLESS to say “you’re NOT sorry”, and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then, moving on and being alright…That’s FEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is FEARLESS. -Taylor Swift


One quote can inspire you to change your life. End of Story.